When Tragedy Hits Home

I don't know of anything else right now that could make me feel more distant and isolated than hearing of tragedy and accidents back home and not being able to be around others who feel the same sadness or close enough to lend a hand.

I was in my living room watching TV on my laptop when the little ding from google chat rang out. It was my boyfriend back home. I thought it was going to be another update on a football game. Instead it was just this line, "A representative from AZ was shot and killed today". I was shocked and immediately thought, "why?" I went to CNN to see if there were anymore details and that's where I heard whitnesses describing the scene and about all the victims and 5 people, including the representative, who were fighting for their lives.

What really struck me though was a couple days later. The entire country was going to have a moment of silence for these victims on the day the suspect was to appear in court. I tried my best to participate, but it was during work and I was called in for a question. In times like these I have unfortunately been a part of many moments of silence for tragedies and remeberences, and I am always amazed by how it can bring even the briefest moment of comfort. It helps me remember I am not alone in my pain. That we can get through this together.

Now I find myself deperately trying to stay connected. Sure the world media is covering the events as they unfold. But this lacks the human connection I am craving. It certainly can't answer the why. But then again, I don't think anything can.

All I can do now is find my own way to help and cope. That is when I turn to the one thing that has kept me connected and given me hope since I can remember. Although I haven't done it in a while, I am still absolutely sure it will help. Tonight, I am going to pray.