When Tragedy Hits Home

I don't know of anything else right now that could make me feel more distant and isolated than hearing of tragedy and accidents back home and not being able to be around others who feel the same sadness or close enough to lend a hand.

I was in my living room watching TV on my laptop when the little ding from google chat rang out. It was my boyfriend back home. I thought it was going to be another update on a football game. Instead it was just this line, "A representative from AZ was shot and killed today". I was shocked and immediately thought, "why?" I went to CNN to see if there were anymore details and that's where I heard whitnesses describing the scene and about all the victims and 5 people, including the representative, who were fighting for their lives.

What really struck me though was a couple days later. The entire country was going to have a moment of silence for these victims on the day the suspect was to appear in court. I tried my best to participate, but it was during work and I was called in for a question. In times like these I have unfortunately been a part of many moments of silence for tragedies and remeberences, and I am always amazed by how it can bring even the briefest moment of comfort. It helps me remember I am not alone in my pain. That we can get through this together.

Now I find myself deperately trying to stay connected. Sure the world media is covering the events as they unfold. But this lacks the human connection I am craving. It certainly can't answer the why. But then again, I don't think anything can.

All I can do now is find my own way to help and cope. That is when I turn to the one thing that has kept me connected and given me hope since I can remember. Although I haven't done it in a while, I am still absolutely sure it will help. Tonight, I am going to pray.

New Years 2011

What better way to solidfy this big change in my life than a start of a New Year! I had been in my apartment less than 48 hours when New Years Eve rolled around. I had originally wanted to celebrate in the States with my family, but who would monitor the astronauts? Yeah that's right. As newbie, I drew the short straw and got to work the evening of the 31st AND the morning of the 1st.

This ended up not being so bad because the few people I know in this country were either home or going out with their significant others. No matter! That morning I stopped by Ikea to pick up some things for the new apartment including a chest of drawers for the bathroom.

On the way home, I stopped by a kiosk to pick up a couple beers and then put on some '90s alternative rock. I was about half way through the chest of drawers when James skyped in. We had a good time chatting over video about absolutely nothing and virtually cheered at New Years when I began hearing loud bangs as the bells tolled midnight. I thought it was an official fireworks show by the Dom until I looked outside and on every corner in my neighborhood there was someone blasting fireworks. These weren't small ones either. These were full blown bottle rockets. I opened my window to get a better view, but just then a spinning wheel of fire came whirring past. I quickly shut the window and continued to watch in amazment and some fear. Some rockets didn't launch straight in the air and were hitting cars and buildings.

Apparently, there are no fireworks allowed in the city. I don't know how everyone got them, but it's nice to see German's breaking the rules one night a year :) All in all a pleasant surprise and good show!